Adolescents’ Preferred and Inferred Strategies for Being Accurately Understood by Their Parents

Perceived understanding in close relationships has been shown to positively correlate with relationship satisfaction and well-being. Less is known, however, about the preferred means for promoting such perceptions. The current study investigated the strategies adolescents prefer their parents use for understanding their feelings, and whether these preferences match the strategies adolescents infer their parents use and the strategies the parents report using. In addition, the study examined whether these preferences, inferences, and actual (reported) strategies correlate with the adolescents’ perceived understanding, life satisfaction, and relationship quality with their parents. The sample included 150 pairs of adolescents (M_age = 16.26; SD = 1.01, 57.3% female) and one of their parents (84% mothers, Mage = 47.94, SD = 6.51). The results revealed that adolescents mostly preferred their parents try to take their perspective (perspective-taking), whereas their parents reported using direct communication, that is, asking them about their feelings (perspective-getting). Perceived understanding, life satisfaction, and relationship quality were not predicted by the parent’s reported behavior but rather were positively associated with the adolescent’s preferred and inferred perspective-getting and negatively associated with the adolescent’s preferred perspective-taking.