Ethnographic Dilemmas and Reflexive Thoughts of a Contemplative Jewish Anthropologist

During ethnographic fieldwork, anthropologists of religion grapple with various dilemmas regarding their participation in the rituals they study. How do they make real-time decisions between full participation and observational distance? Do they manage to participate harmoniously in religious activities even during moments of doubt or questioning of their own faith? Based on my three-year fieldwork in Israeli Reform Jewish congregations, which included observations and in-depth interviews, I demonstrate how my reflexive experience which exposes my internal Jewish dialogue, shaped my patterns of participation and motivation in engaging with various rituals. This autoethnographic description illustrates that my deliberate abstention or avoidance from participation, stemming from differences in religious habitus and my anthropological research approach, enabled congregants to engage in communal activities and thereby contributed to broadening my understanding of different communal scenarios. I discovered, thus, that the vector that determines the nature of participation is a product of the researched practice – in this case, religious performances/practices. Therefore, I suggest that this methodological decision develops ethnographic honesty and loyalty on both sides, the ethnographer’s as well as the informants’.