My fellow physician and friend died from a rare type of cancer. She was a model for me in many respects. She showed me how to cope with a chronic disease together with a demanding professional life, yet she left me without any comfort or guidelines on how to contend with a terminal disease. This story is a reflection on my frustration and disappointment with my friend’s final choices that prevented us from processing our feelings and sharing our deepest thoughts. The story includes reflections and insights about our ability to understand and accept the preferences of patients and others close to us.